I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
