So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
