i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
