Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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