You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I currently don't understand fingers.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
