What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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