Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
