can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
