I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
