I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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