Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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