if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
