I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
time to smoke my breakfast
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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