now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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