you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
