And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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