At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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