Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
