it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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