I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
