and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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