Say something about gay babies.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
