So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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