i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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