put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
