Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
