Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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