carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
