after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
