Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
