New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
