he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I lost the right to judge tonight
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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