Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
