The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize