therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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