there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
