We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize