do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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