is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
nutella sex= disaster
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
