they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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