do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
