Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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