There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
