That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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