remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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