Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
