Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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