My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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