I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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