It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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