How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
