He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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