Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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