do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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