So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
