I cockslap morals
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
