"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
