Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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