Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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