Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize