Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
