we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
