..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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