My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
